Becoming More Resilient, Part 3: The Language Game

What’s up 7070 family!
Another week of quarantine in the books…high fives all around!
I imagine this email finds you all keeping up with your healthy habits. Sleep, nutrition, water, meditation, journaling, workouts…whatever you’ve chosen to focus on for the Resilience Challenge.
This week, I challenge you to play a game with your language.
Words are powerful! The words we speak to others, and the words we speak to ourselves. Everything we say matters, and how we say it matters. Our language drives our behavior.
The words we use create the reality that we experience. Be intentional with your words this week, and notice how you feel when you make these changes.
The rules of this language game are simple!
  1. When you hear yourself say, “I don’t want to…” flip the script. Say, “I want to…” instead.
I don’t want to do a workout today. —> I want to do recovery yoga today.
I don’t want to shovel the driveway. —> I want to get some fresh air and say “hi” to the neighbors.
I don’t want to drink all this water. —> I want to stay hydrated, and feel healthy & energized.
Our energy follows our focus. When we state things in the negative, we’re wreaking havoc on our focus. Train your mind to focus on the things you want to experience, rather than what you’re avoiding.
Focusing on what you do want to experience facilitates success. You visualize the desired scenario. You’re motivated by competency and success, rather than failure and avoidance.
  1. When you hear yourself say, “I have to…” or “I need to…” change that “have” or “need” to “get.”
I have to do my workout. —> I GET to do my workout.
We have to stay at home. —> We GET to stay at home.
I have to drink all this water. —> I GET to drink at this water.
This simple change shifts your focus to gratitude. Gratitude that you’re healthy enough to workout; that you’ve got a home at which you can stay, safe from COVID; that you have clean drinking water.
Recognize just how abundantly blessed we are, in the smallest ways. We don’t have vacations, concerts, festivals, coffee shops, bars, or restaurants right now. And still, we have so much to be grateful for! Acknowledge these by using the “I get to…” mindset.
  1. Remove the following words from your vocabulary: kinda, sorta, probably, maybe, should, could.
I kinda wanna eat healthier during this quarantine. —> I will eat healthier during this quarantine [by doing XYZ…].
Maybe I’ll finally clean my closet! —> I will clean my closet Saturday at 1pm.
I should probably log my workouts on Wodify. —> I will log my workouts on Wodify as soon as I finish them, so I can look back at the progress I made during this stay-at-home time.
Ambiguous words like kinda, sorta, and probably, build a cop-out into your goals and intentions. These words take us off the hook for any kind of commitment. And this ambiguity is confusing and draining!
Declutter and de-confuse your mind by adding certainty and accuracy to your language. How much more likely are you to do something when you make a declaration that you WILL do it, and state WHEN you will do it, and HOW you will do it? I bet it’ll get done.
  1. When you hear yourself start a sentence with, “I can’t believe…” replace that “can’t” with “can.”
If you’re anything like me, you may have have noticed yourself using this sentence quite a bit recently.
I can’t believe they’re not social distancing!
I can’t believe we’re on a stay-at-home order.
I can’t believe my boss is making us do this.
I can’t believe I ate all my quarantine snacks in one day!
Well, are these things happening?
Those people AREN’T social distancing.
We ARE on a stay-at-home order.
Your boss IS making you do that thing.
You DID eat all your quarantine snacks in one day.
So, if these things truly are happening, CAN you believe they’re happening? I bet the answer is yes.
I can believe they’re not social distancing.
I can believe we’re on a stay-at-home order.
I can believe my boss is making us do this.
I can believe I ate all my quarantine snacks in one day.
When we say, “I can’t believe,” we’re creating internal conflict about what’s actually happening, and what we wish were happening. Remove this conflict by acknowledging what’s happening. Stay present, acknowledge the reality, and if you can do something to change the situation, then change the situation!
I can believe I ate all my quarantine snacks in one day. —> In the future, I will eat healthier by listening to my body’s signals. When I’m hungry, I will eat. When I’m not hungry, yet I want to eat, I’ll turn to my journal instead.
The next time you hear yourself start a sentence with “I can’t believe…” change that “can’t” to “can.”
What do you notice about how you feel when you make these small changes? Let me know how this goes for you!
Big virtual hugs to you all,

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